Tying The Knot At Age 70

I stopped in a co-worker’s office and said: “I am getting married next month, and I am 70 years old.”

Her reaction: “Well, some people take a long time to make up their mind.”

My response: “It wasn’t a matter of my mind; it was a matter of the government making up its mind.”

Many people get emotional because they are going to get married; I was emotional because I could get married.

March 21, 2014 was the date for the ceremony: the day when Randy would transition from being my buddy to being both my buddy and my husband.  That date was chosen because it marked the seventeenth anniversary of us being a couple.

There are a limited number of states where we can get married. Because we wanted to get married outdoors, that narrowed the choice down to California.

We turned to Google, and typed in “Wedding Venues in California”.  The first place that Google showed us was a keeper: we looked no further.  It was The Sea Ranch Lodge, sited in a twenty-mile stretch of Pacific Ocean coastline that is under a covenant to keep its architecture in a state of harmony with nature: no one can paint the outside of their house (house exteriors must be weathered wood); no one can have a lawn; no house can block the ocean view of another house.

Randy and I signed a contract once the Sea Ranch wedding planner assured us that the weather would be perfect on March 21.

Well, on March 21, it wasn't too foggy and it wasn't too chilly as Randy and I stood on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

We were joined by 12 wedding guests and 2 wedding crashers in the form of harbor seals cavorting in the cove below us.

I was in fine form during the ceremony until they played the wedding song that Randy had chosen.  It was Natural High, sung by the strong voice of Merle Haggard, backed up by the haunting voice of Janie Fricke.  Merle and Janie sang: "You stayed with me through thick and thin..."

I lost it.  I blubbered through my vow, while putting a ring on Randy's left hand: "On this day, I re-new the promise I made to you seventeen years ago: that I will show you respect, consideration, and care.  As a sign of my commitment, I give you this ring to wear."

Since MAR 21 is World Poetry Day, I made sure that my vow rhymed.

Off to the Lodge to have Randy's son and my brother sign the wedding certificate.

Signing the wedding certificate must have put my 81-year-old brother in a romantic mood; he approached a woman in the lobby and asked her if she was a rich widow that he could sweep off her feet.

Before Randy and I went off to California, a friend asked me why we were doing this.  The basis of his question was the fact that many state governments (including our state government) will not recognize our marriage, and some state legislators are busy dreaming up new ways of discriminating against us.

The answer is that, as I entered my seventieth year, the Veterans Administration said it will recognize same-gender marriage and so will the Internal Revenue Service.

And, hopefully, hospitals will recognize our marriage, and no hospital will ever again bar Randy from visiting me while I lie in a bed in that hospital’s Intensive Care Unit.


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A YouTube video of Merle Haggard and Janie Fricke singing "Natural High" - 3 minutes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTHRl6sATmM

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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  You can purchase a copy at  http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com