Puppy Out Of Breath

Puppy Out Of Breath
Doug's stories are now in a book: www.puppyoutofbreath.com

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Do Not Flash The Octopus


I had heard about the Monterey Bay Aquarium in California for years, but when I finally got there, I was not prepared for how immense it is.  The place is like a theme park for aquatic life.

Tanks with jellyfish, which some people consider edible:


Tanks with sand dollars, which seem to like to stand vertically:


Tanks with anemones, which are venomous:


And a tank with an octopus, which does not like to be flashed:


I was not prepared for how immense the Monterey Bay Aquarium is, and I was not prepared for how expensive it is: $40 for an adult, $25 for a kid. That meant a family of five spent $155 to get in. I looked around; the place was overrun with kids. 

One thing I was prepared for: I knew that when I left the aquarium, I would have no interest in eating seafood.

I blame that on my mother.


Our sixth-grade class went on a field trip to the American Museum of Natural History in New York City, one of the largest museums in the world.  Much to my disappointment, we were not going to the Hall of Dinosaurs.  Our teacher took us to the Hall of Fishes.

None of the fishes in the Hall of Fishes moved, because they were all models.  They sat in dioramas or were fastened to the wall.  I dutifully looked at all the dioramas because our teacher wanted us to, but the exhibits seemed stale.  Our hometown was surrounded by salt water on three sides, and the Hall of Fishes was noticeably lacking in the feel of walking on a sand beach, the sound of waves lapping the shore, the smell of salt air.


Having dutifully looked at dioramas, our sixth-grade class went into the American Museum of Natural History cafeteria to eat the lunches that our mothers had packed for us.  I opened up my lunch bag and found that my mother had made me a tuna fish sandwich.


Mom!!!!!  How could you do this to me?

I had just seen a life-size model of a tuna fish attached to the wall of the Hall of Fishes.  I couldn’t possibly eat tuna fish for lunch.

Nobody in my sixth grade class would trade sandwiches with me.  I went hungry that day. 


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Shirley Temple had a great time at the Codfish Ball (4-minute video).  Lobsters dancing in a row shuffle off to Buffalo…



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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  You can purchase a copy at  http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com


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