Somehow, the St. Louis Paranormal Research Society got wind of me.
They heard that I lead Saturday
morning vampire tours in St. Louis, and decided that I would be a suitable pre-séance
speaker for their Halloween Night paranormal extravaganza, called Dark St.
Louis.
What the Paranormal
Society did not know is that my vampire tours are light-hearted, based on the
novels of Laurel K. Hamilton, who describes a thriving vampire community on St.
Louis' waterfront. I even promise the people on my tour that they will
get to see an actual vampire. Yes, they will see a vampire standing in the
window of the Wax Museum on the waterfront....and if they complain that he does
not move, I point that vampires can’t move when it is broad daylight.
When the head of the
Paranormal Society called me up to invite me to speak at their event, I made an
enormous faux pas. I said: "Yes, I lead vampire tours, but vampires
are fictional."
Never, never, never say
"vampires are fictional" to the head of the Paranormal Society; he gets all bent out of shape.
Response: "Vampires
are REAL. I have seen people drink human blood."
Obviously I had touched a
nerve. I knew best to not get snarky and ask the guy: "And these
people you saw drinking human blood, were they 800 years old?"
I talked to another member
of the Paranormal Society. “I lead
vampire tours, focusing on Laurel K. Hamilton’s books about fictional
vampires.”
Response: “There is a lot
of truth in fiction.”
Then I asked a woman from
New Orleans if vampires are fictional.
She did not get bent out of shape; instead she gave me a comprehensive overview.
Response: “Folklore around
the world has references to vampires, which would indicate that vampires do
exist. Today, there are people who drink
human blood, and call themselves vampires.”
Dr. D. J. Williams (photo
above), a sociology professor at Idaho State University, actually did a study of eleven self-identified
vampires.
So, for my pre-séance talk
at the Halloween Night paranormal extravaganza, I needed to avoid vampires, avoid
fiction, and avoid the drinking of human blood.
I chose the topic: "Dark Moments in St. Louis History". I covered
plagues, the secret spraying of St. Louis children with zinc cadmium sulfite by
the United States Army, grave robbing, river pirates, the torture of St. Louis
citizens by British mercenary troops, exorcism, and various gruesome deaths.
I also told the audience what
the next dark moment will be. The
uranium used for the atomic bomb was refined in St. Louis, and the radioactive waste from the refining process was buried in a landfill in a
suburb in 1945. Currently, there is an underground
fire in another landfill working its way straight toward the radioactive
landfill.
My conclusion: after so
many centuries of misfortune, it is no wonder that St. Louis is a hotbed of
paranormal activity. Hearing this must
have pleased the head of the Paranormal Research Society.
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Nosferatu, the classic silent movie about a vampire, was re-mastered in 2013. Here is a 2-minute trailer for the film:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LOOhc2eML4
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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath. Price = $11. Send an email to ParadiseDouglas at gmail.com to find out how to purchase a copy by mail.
