Resolutions 1-2-3 When Leaving The Army

Whenever I go to Gold's Gym, I am reminded of the day when I left the Army in 1970, in Tacoma, Washington.  On that day, I made resolutions 1-2-3:

RESOLUTION #1: No one will ever yell at me again.

RESOLUTION #2: I will never do a push-up again.

RESOLUTION #3: I will recognize when I am surrounded by happiness.

In the Army, being yelled at meant that I was being singled out.  Singled out because of some transgression and I needed to be humiliated in front of my fellow soldiers.  Gold's Gym has a cycling class and the instructor is constantly yelling "Pedal Faster".  I have never taken a cycling class because of Resolution #1 - I do not want to re-live being yelled at.

In the Army, push-ups are not exercise, they are punishment.  "Schneider, give me 10" means that because I had annoyed the sergeant, I had to drop to the ground and do 10 push-ups to appease him.  At Gold's Gym I take a barbell class, and the instructor wants us to do push-ups.  Because of Resolution #2, I only do pseudo push-ups, bouncing my head up and down while I am on my hands and knees.

In the Army, I made a discovery: I discovered that before I was in the Army, I was surrounded by happiness and did not realize it.  Resolution #3 is subtle; it means that I should find joy in having choice and control.

Before I was in the Army, I could choose what clothes to wear.  I could choose when to turn off the light at night.  I had a wide variety of friends.  I could walk to a refrigerator and get a cool drink.  I could sleep all night long.  I could close the door when I used a bathroom.

Not so in the Army: the Department of Defense told me what to wear and even told me when to switch from winter uniform to summer uniform - an event that happened simultaneously across the country, putting me in a summer uniform well before warm weather reached Tacoma, Washington.  My commanding officer determined when the barracks lights get turned off at night.  By default, I was surrounded almost entirely by men all about the same age I was.  There was no refrigerator in the barracks, just a water fountain.  Many nights my sleep was interrupted by walking an hour of guard duty.  There was no such thing as privacy in an Army bathroom.

The Army made my choices for me; the Army controlled my life.

At Gold's Gym, in the barbell class, I have choice - I pick what weight to put on my barbell.  I have control - I can modify the exercises if I do not like what the instructor is doing.

Resolution #3 tells me to recognize that I now have choice, I now have control, and I now have the freedom to have my hair cut any way I wish.  And that is happiness.

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2-minute YouTube video on how to avoid being yelled at by a Drill Sergeant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QQp8rb_uHY

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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  You can purchase a copy at  http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com