I Have Never Been A P.O.W. In North Korea

I have never been a Prisoner Of War in North Korea, but I did have a small glimpse into the ordeal that a P.O.W. endured.  We bought a new Honda recently.

At the Honda dealership, the salesman was jolly, the receptionist was friendly, the guy from the maintenance department said hello, the person who arranged the test drive was congenial, the woman I spoke to on the phone was pleasant.  They all did their best to make our purchase a happy one.

When arrangements were almost complete, my buddy Randy had to leave. 

This meant I had to face the finance officer by myself.  All alone behind closed doors, with a man who fully intended to break my will and convince me to buy an extended warranty.

The finance officer said he was a former mathematics teacher, and wanted to show me some numbers.  I hid the fact that I am also a former mathematics teacher; instead, I said I was a literary type of person.  I wanted to show him some letters: the letter “N” and the letter “O”.

So, instead of showing me some numbers, the finance officer told some facts.  2012 is different --- our new car had so many components that it was bound to have problems.  Did I need proof?  Just come to the dealership on Monday morning and look at all the cars lined up outside the maintenance department waiting to be repaired.

No, I do not want an extended warranty.  I have taken very good care of my cars; one of them reached a quarter of a million miles.

The finance officer told me my previous experience with maintaining cars was meaningless.  2012 is different --- cars are so complicated that there is no comparison with older cars.

Our new car was belittled.  My proud ownership experience was belittled.  I began to wonder if the United States has some sort of trade agreement with North Korea, arranging to send extended warranty salesmen to Pyongyang for training.

Somehow I managed to leave the room without breaking down and getting a warranty.

When I drove away from the dealership in the new car, I thought about all the new cars I have purchased in my life.  I used to drive away from the dealership feeling satisfied and happy.  But this time, I drove away feeling angry. 

The finance officer was right --- 2012 is different.

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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  You can purchase a copy at  http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com