Puppy Out Of Breath

Puppy Out Of Breath
Doug's stories are now in a book: www.puppyoutofbreath.com

Saturday, September 15, 2012

I Need A Drink

                Doug's students at historic house in Kano



My elementary school teachers took us on field trips.

In 4th grade, we went to Lollipop Farm.  The “farm” had animals you could pet and even hand feed.  For us suburban kids, it was the first time we came face-to-face with a cow.

In 5th grade, we went to the Saddle Rock Grist Mill, perhaps the oldest tidal grist mill in the country.  This was not the first time I had been to the mill.  The stables there had been converted into housing, and my parents were thinking of living in the stables, but we wound up in a suburban split-level house instead, much to my disappointment.

In 6th grade, we went to the Museum of Natural History in New York City .  The focus of the trip was the fish exhibits.  After looking at models of fish, displays of fish, photographs of fish, and dioramas of fish, the class went to the museum cafeteria to eat the lunches that our mothers had packed.  I opened my lunch bag and found a tuna fish sandwich inside.  It was impossible to eat a fish after looking at fish.

I saw the other side of field trips when I became a teacher in Nigeria at a girls’ boarding school. 

We did a nice daytime field trip to a historic house.  The house was built around 1720, and had artifacts from everyday life.  I liked seeing the students light up when they recognized an object their grandmother had.

But I cut back on field trips after we went to a play at nighttime.

Nigerians are big fans of Shakespeare; a popular hobby is translating his plays into a local Nigerian language.  However, our field trip was not to a Shakespearian play; I took a busload of students to A Man for All Seasons.  Shakespeare’s plays are filled with activity and interesting characters and awkward situations.  A Man for All Seasons is a cerebral play.  The actors spent most of the time standing still on stage and talking. 

The Nigerian audience made a valiant effort to follow Sir Thomas More’s agonizing about his private conscience while doing battle with his public duties.  Most of the audience gave up and drifted into the dark recesses of the theater.  My students drifted there as well.

Uh oh.  I was supposed to be chaperoning these girls.  I had no idea what was happening in all that darkness, and I grew exceedingly uncomfortable.  I could no longer follow Henry VIII’s agonizing about the burdens of being a king.

Then I got an idea.

When lights came on at intermission, I chased the girls out of the recesses of the theater.  The girls were easy to spot because they were wearing their school uniforms.  I told them that the play was over.  It was time to get on the bus and go back to the dormitories.  Some girls tried to correct me and point out that the play was only half over, but I was adamant.

When the bus dropped them off back at the school, I heaved a sigh of relief.

I was so frazzled from the evening that all I could think was, “I need a drink.”  This was not just some trite line from a black-and-white movie --- I really did need a drink.  I headed for a bar.

I wonder if my 4th grade teacher had headed for a bar on the day we went on a field trip to Lollipop Farm to hand feed the cow.


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2-minute YouTube home movie of Lollipop Farm, Syosset NY, complete with sound of 8mm projector:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kbxkYKbVV0


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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  You can purchase a copy at  http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com

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