It was the morning of the third day of being inducted into
the United States Army. I knew that this
was the day I would lose my moustache.
We would be marched to the post barber shop where all our
hair would be cut off and our faces shaved clean. The Army was going to destroy my moustache.
I decided I would beat the Army to it. On that third morning, I shaved off my own
moustache. The post barber still cut off
all my hair. After the barber, we were
marched to the post photographer, who took photos for our Army IDs.
I missed my moustache, and yearned to get it back. I found a set of Army regulations and looked
up facial hair. The regulations said
that a soldier can have facial hair only if he has facial hair on the photo of
his ID.
How could I get around this Catch-22? I looked at my ID with my clean-shaven photo. I noticed that the birth date on my ID was off
by one day.
I took a risk and started growing a moustache. As soon as I thought the moustache was long
enough to show up on a photo, I went to post headquarters and demanded a new ID
with my correct birth date. A new ID
meant a new photo, and now my newly-grown moustache was on my ID.
I was safe. Or was
I?
The Army made us watch a Scary Training Film about
Communists. It was in black-and-white, poorly acted, and reminded me of a junior high science film.
Communists took over a town in the middle of the night. The next morning, people were thrown in jail without trial, and lots of other bad things happened. The Communists were easy to identify: they had uniforms, they carried rifles, and every last one of them sported a moustache.
Communists took over a town in the middle of the night. The next morning, people were thrown in jail without trial, and lots of other bad things happened. The Communists were easy to identify: they had uniforms, they carried rifles, and every last one of them sported a moustache.
My moustache was legitimate because it was on my Army ID,
but it put me under suspicion.
Nevertheless, I continued to wear a moustache.
A friend of mine told me about the time he
applied for non-combat status. Then it
became clear why the Army had shown us a film about Communists taking over a town
My friend did not want to go to Vietnam and kill people. He wanted to become a medic and go to Vietnam and heal
people. He went before a board led by
the adjutant general, where he was grilled about his beliefs, culminating in
the Big Question.
My friend was from Hershey ,
Pennsylvania
He did not really answer the question; he just said
that Hershey was in no danger of invasion.
They granted him non-combat status anyway, and he served as a medic
in Vietnam.
After his time in the Army, my friend went back to
Hershey.
I always wondered if the Scary Training Film and the Big Question had an impact on him. I
wondered if he spent any time watching out for boats coming up the Susquehanna
River --- boats filled with Asian-looking men, in uniform, carrying rifles,
every last one of them sporting a moustache.
- . - .- . - . - .
Here is another Scary Armed Forces Information Film: "How To Spot A Communist" (one minute long):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkYl_AH-qyk
- . - .- . - . - .
NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath. Price = $11. You can purchase a copy at http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com
Have you come across any propaganda as hokey as this from the modern US government? I guess the closest things I can think of are the anti-drug films. I think almost all my classmates agreed on how absurd they were. They seem less laughable when one considers how many people are in jail though due to the "War on Drugs".
ReplyDelete(On the other side, searching around for modern US anti-terrorist propaganda on youtube ("terrorist" is the new "communist", isn't it?), I instead come across pro-terrorist propaganda. Not that nice to see.)
I was just wondering if we could compare the propaganda from now and then and see if there's been progress in our society's development.