If you live in Missouri, you say that Edwardsville is on the East Side. If you live in Illinois, you say that Edwardsville is in Southwestern Illinois.
In any event, my buddy Randy and I went over to Edwardsville one Saturday night to join Brian and Liesa for a little pub crawling.
Our first stop was a funky bar. It was a hangout for old hippies who did not mind a little filth on the floor and on the drinking glasses. This place was too low-down.
Our second stop was a wine bar. It was dimly lit by 20-watt bulbs. This made it hard to read the wine list, which was printed in an elegant 8-point font. This place was too high-class.
Our third stop was a restaurant with a large bar area. It was cheery, and had a dance floor with a live band. This place was just-right.
After Randy, Brian, Liesa and I settled in at a table and got some drinks, the band started playing a very danceable tune. Liesa and I hit the dance floor. The dance floor was roomy; I did not understand why there was only one other couple dancing , especially when the music was so infectious.
Then I noticed something unusual about the other couple: the guy was wearing a carnation. I thought: gosh, you don’t see many guys wearing carnations these days.
Liesa and I continued dancing, enjoying the music.
Then I noticed that the guy was wearing a tuxedo. Then I noticed the woman was wearing a wedding dress. Then it dawned on me why there was only one other couple on the dance floor. Liesa realized it at the same time I did.
We were mortified. We stopped dancing, shrank ourselves down to about 6 inches tall, and guiltily scurried off the dance floor.
That was the final stop on our pub crawl in Edwardsville, Illinois.
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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath. Price = $11. You can purchase a copy at http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com
and yet this is not only a story you, she and they will dine out on for weeks, it's blog-worthy.
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