Puppy Out Of Breath

Puppy Out Of Breath
Doug's stories are now in a book: www.puppyoutofbreath.com

Saturday, July 5, 2014

The Dreaded Cellphone Moment



In 1975, a friend scolded me for taking 4 weeks to answer his letters.

I carefully explained to him: He lived in New York, and I lived in Sokoto, in the far northwest corner of Nigeria.  It took 2 weeks for a letter to get from New York to Sokoto.  If I answered his letter immediately, it would take 2 weeks for that letter to get to New York.  2 + 2 = 4.

Back then, a 4-week gap did not bother me; I did not feel out of reach.

In 2011, I took a guided tour of Alaska.  There were some Californians on the tour.  Wherever we went in Alaska, the Californians took out their cellphones to see if they could get reception.  They checked their cellphones when we were walking on glaciers, when we were kayaking in rivers, when we were trekking on mountains. 

They were in constant fear of the Dreaded Cellphone Moment: the moment when they could not get a cellphone signal.


Only once were the Californians unable to get a cellphone signal in Alaska, and it made them panicky…panicky because, without a cellphone signal, they were out of reach.

The Californians made me chuckle then, but I don't chuckle anymore because I took a trip to Des Moines in 2014, and used Google Maps on my cellphone to guide me there.

I drove to Des Moines to teach a Scottish Country Dance workshop, and the plan was for me to stay with two dancers: Sue and Gerry.  I got to Des Moines mid-afternoon and visited the Art Center: a delightful place where I snapped a bunch of photos with my cellphone. 



The Art Center was about to close, so it was time to log on to Gmail to find the message where Sue and Gerry had sent me their address.

Uh oh...my cellphone said “LOW BATTERY - 10%”, and the phone refused to do anything.  The GPS and the photos had taken their toll.


I told an Art Center security guard my sob story: I couldn’t read my email on my phone.

The security guard suggested that I could use an Art Center PC to log on to the Internet and read my email.  I told the Museum gift shop person my sob story, and she turned her PC on for me.  



I logged into Gmail, and Gmail became very perceptive.  Instead of displaying my email for me, Gmail told me that I had never logged on from this computer before.  For my own safety, they would send me a special security code.

I breathed a sigh of relief.  I was one step away from getting Sue and Gerry's address.

Gmail said they would send the special security code to my cellphone.

I now felt utterly helpless.

Then the security guard suggested that Sue and Gerry might have a landline phone. 

A landline phone?  How quaint!  Also, how lucky!  They did have a landline phone, and their address was listed in the Des Moines white pages. 

So, in 2014 I had to use 1975 technology to reach Sue and Gerry’s house.


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Being out of cellphone reach is now an integral part of every horror movie made by Hollywood.  Here is a 5-minute compendium of scenes where actors discover they have no cellphone service:



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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  You can purchase a copy at  http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com



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