The Blood District

I was fascinated to learn that St. Louis has the largest vampire population of any city in the United States.

This fact makes sense because of the famous court case, Addison vs. Clark, when vampires earned the same legal rights as humans: vampires can sue in St. Louis city courts and vampires can vote in St. Louis city elections.

Because of the large vampire population it also makes sense that the federal government opened a RIP-IT office (Regional Preternatural Investigative Team) in St. Louis.

Most St. Louis vampires like to hang out in the Blood District because of its old buildings and cobblestone streets.  This section of the riverfront managed to escape the wrecking balls of the twentieth century.  All the buildings in the District are at least one hundred years old, many of them going back to Civil War days, and some of them having Underground Railroad holding rooms.

I am a St. Louis walking tour guide.  At the end of March, I will be taking people on a walking tour of the Blood District.  My tour will be in the daytime; so, unfortunately, we will miss out on the vampire strip clubs which, obviously, can only operate after dark.

Vampire life in St. Louis is described in detail by author Laurell K. Hamilton, whose books about Anita Blake, America’s foremost vampire hunter, have sold over 6,000,000 copies so far.

Last week, I went to Barnes & Noble to buy a Laurell K. Hamilton book.  I wanted to find out more about St. Louis' vampires and the Blood District.

I stepped up to the information desk.  The young lady working at the desk asked me if I was looking for a book.  “Yes,” I said, “I am looking for Guilty Pleasures.”

As soon as she heard me utter the title of the book, the young lady gasped slightly and stopped dead in her tracks.  She nervously inquired: “Sir, are you buying this book for yourself?”

“Yes, I am buying it for myself.”

“Then, Sir, I need to warn you --- this book is very explicit.”

Oh, dear, she saw me as a 68-year-old who must have been raised on books like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.  She saw me as a 68-year-old who would have a coronary if he read about what really goes on in vampire strip clubs.

I realized that I needed to reassure the young woman.  I looked her in the eye and said, “Don’t worry; I have a lot of mileage on my odometer.”

She went to a nearby shelf and found a copy of Guilty Pleasures for me to buy.

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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  You can purchase a copy at  http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com