Thicker Than Thick

The students in my math classes in Nigeria varied widely in ability.  I had students who were intelligent, and I had students who were slow learners.

Nigerians use the word “thick” to describe a slow learner.  I would do my best to bring the slow learners up to speed.  If someone gave an incorrect answer in my class, I would patiently steer him to the correct answer. The intelligent students listened patiently while I worked with the slow learners.

Then a new freshman class arrived. In this class were brilliant students, and slow learners, and a student named Hamidu.

I detected that something was amiss. The class seemed eager to have me call on Hamidu. Whenever I called on him, the class would not be patient, they would laugh.  Hamidu did not give correct answers, he did not give incorrect answers --- he gave incoherent answers.  The whole class was amused.

There was no way to patiently lead Hamidu to the correct answer. He was thicker than thick.

Clearly Hamidu was unsuitable for our school, and was going to drag down the learning experience for the other students.  This was a five-year school where the state government gave each student a full scholarship, which included room and board.

I mentioned to a history teacher that I was puzzled how Hamidu ever got admitted to our school. The history teacher said he was puzzled.  An Arabic teacher said the same.

I started to investigate.  Our school holds its own entrance examinations.  So, I went to the school vault, and pulled out all the entrance exams for this batch of incoming freshman. I thumbed through and found Hamidu’s examination paper.

I noticed immediately that the pen used for scoring his exam was different from the pens used to score the other exams.  I noticed that his paper got the highest score of all the exams --- significantly higher

I smelled a rat.  Then I found out that Hamidu was the nephew of the school clerk. There had been some funny business, and it did not take much to figure out that Hamidu’s uncle was involved.

I was now in a quandary.  On one hand, I needed to get Hamidu dismissed from the school.  On the other hand, I could not announce that there had been funny business. This would mean I was publically accusing the school clerk of collusion.  I needed to be on the school clerk’s good side; I depended on him for a lot of things.

How could I get Hamidu kicked out of school, while making sure the school clerk saved face?

I had a brilliant idea. I went to the Principal and announced that we should re-test the entire incoming freshman class. It was a lot of work, but there would be no public accusation.

My plan worked.  Hamidu failed the re-take miserably, and he was sent on his way.

My math class went back to its typical mixture of intelligent or slow. The answers in class were back to being correct or incorrect.

But I think all the students in the freshman class missed Hamidu.  They missed being amused and getting to laugh at incoherent answers.

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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  You can purchase a copy at  http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com