Roly-Poly Fish Head

I planned my entry into adulthood carefully.  It was going to be triumphant.

I was a twenty-year-old college student living without a car.  My parents were driving up to Rhode Island to help me celebrate my twenty-first birthday.  My plans, of course, involved them driving me places.

The first place my parents would drive me was one of the best seafood restaurants in Providence.  Then it was a one-hour drive north to Boston, where we would see a play.  My college girlfriend would be coming along; I expected her to be suitably impressed.

The restaurant, which was established in 1905, was elegant.  I perused the menu carefully.  I wanted to order something that would prove I was an adult, something exotic.  I saw the usual clams and haddock and flounder --- all East Coast seafood that was familiar to me.

Then I spotted the perfect dish: I ordered Rocky Mountain rainbow trout.

I had never had trout before, and I was horrified when the waiter brought me an entire fish: fins, skin, and a head that contained and eye staring up at me.  I did not eat much.

We then went up to a small theater in Boston, to see a play by Brendan Behan.  He was an Irish playwright, quite popular at the time --- although his artistic reputation was overshadowed by his drinking reputation.

The play was called "The Hostage".  I expected it to be about a war.  The four of us settled into our seats.  The play began.  It was not set on a military base; it was set in a whorehouse.  There I was, sitting with my parents as all these Irish whores were talking on the stage.  I was embarrassed.

I also realized I was woozy.  The experience of being stared at by a broiled trout had soured my stomach.

I needed comfort.  I gently leaned my head to my left.

  

There I was sitting in a theater in Boston, resting my head on my mother’s shoulder.  Instead of becoming an adult, I had become a child again on my 21st birthday. 

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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  You can purchase a copy at  http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com