Thank You For Being Present In The Moment

Was this concert sponsored by AARP?  I looked around the Fox Theater, and almost everyone in the audience was about my age.

We were all at the Fox Theater to go back to 1969, the year of the Moon Landing, Woodstock, and the Vietnam War --- the year when Creedence Clearwater Revival put out three albums.

John Fogerty was on tour.  To set the 1969 mood before his concert began, a large screen at the back of the stage displayed a hippie mantra: THANK YOU FOR BEING PRESENT IN THE MOMENT.

  

I waited to see if the concert really would take me back to 1969. 

The large screen at the back of the stage started a movie.  The movie showed hippies in long hair --- that was not me.  The movie showed hippies wearing beads and bell-bottoms --- that was not me.  The movie showed hippies decked out in tie-dye --- that was not me.

The movie showed people at 3 Days of Peace & Music at Woodstock --- that was not me, even though I had been visiting my parents in August 1969 and I almost decided to ask my parents if they needed their car for the weekend because I wanted to drive upstate to a music festival, but I did not ask them and I did not go.

Then the movie showed a door gunner in a UH-1 helicopter --- that was me.

In 1969, I was in the Army.  I was a 67N20.  This meant that the Army had trained me to repair UH-1 helicopters, which were the work horses of the war in Vietnam.  The Army also trained me to be a door gunner, just like the guy in the movie playing on the large screen at the Fox Theater. 

It was the door gunner image in the movie that took me right back to 1969. 

I fell into the mood of the concert.  The movie ended, and John Fogerty came out on stage. Familiar Creedence Clearwater Revival songs blasted out into the theater.  I stood; sometimes I swayed to the infectious music; I sang out “Down on the corner, out in the street”. 

I looked at the other people in the audience who were swaying and singing out.  Thanks to John Fogerty, it looked like they were remembering what they were like 46 years ago: younger and slimmer, with long hair and wearing beads and bell-bottoms, all decked out in tie-dye.

And thanks to John Fogerty, I was remembering what I was like 46 years ago: younger and slimmer, having short hair and wearing fatigues and wondering if the Army would ship me out to Vietnam.

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Come on and ride the wind! A 4-minute video promoting John Fogery's tour in Canada, featuring a Volkswagen minivan, of course:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV0-93vaSAk

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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  Find out more at http://www.puppyoutofbreath.com

How To Donate At The Devil's Elbow

I put my tourguide career at risk and took a bus load of senior ladies have lunch at the Devil’s Elbow.  It was a Continuing Education tour for St. Louis Community College, and typically the people who come on these tours are ladies in their senior years.

The college catalog described my tour as: “Bus tour of the historic Mother Road.  See Route 66 ruins, visit Route 66 businesses, and enjoy a barbecue lunch.”

On the morning of the tour, I stood in the college parking lot watching my tour people arrive, park, and get on the bus.  Then a car drove in, parked, and a woman in her fifties got out and opened the passenger door for a woman in her eighties. 

I found out that they were niece and aunt.  The aunt took a long time to get out of the car.  Then the aunt struggled, even with the bus driver’s help, to get up the four steps into the bus, taking her about three minutes.

The niece then came up to me and griped.  She griped that her aunt had trouble with steps, and the Community College catalog had failed to mention that the tour bus had steps.  I was stunned, and I had a hard time refraining from being snarky and saying: “Hey, the catalog also did not say that the tour bus has wheels, and, look, there are four of them.”

One gripe, and we hadn’t even left the parking lot.  What would the tour people say when they saw the ceiling when we ate lunch at the Devil’s Elbow, 125 miles west of St. Louis?  The catalog said “enjoy a barbecue lunch”; it did not say “enjoy a lunch in a Harley biker barbecue pit”.

At lunchtime, the bus pulled up to the Elbow Inn and let us off, but the bus did not linger because of a sign that said HARLEY PARKING ONLY, ALL OTHERS WILL BE CRUSHED. 

The Elbow Inn is a Route 66 icon.  When Route 66 was established in 1926, this was a family-friendly sandwich shop.  Now it is a place that posts a notice at the front door listing the 800 number for a bail bonds company.

My tourpeople sat down for lunch.  I waited for them to notice the ceiling – the fabric ceiling – the ceiling made of brassieres.  Would these ladies be shocked?  Would they complain, and demand that St. Louis Community College fire me?

One by one, the tour people noticed the ceiling.  And, one by one, they got up and photographed it.  They thought it was a hoot. 

I pointed out my favorite brassiere on the ceiling.  It was white.  The woman who donated it had written “From Akron, Ohio, Brenda St. Clair, 10 years a breast cancer survivor” on her brassiere.

One of my tour people said that she would like to come back some day and donate one of her old brassieres to the ceiling.  I had to tell her that you cannot donate an old brassiere, you have to donate your current brassiere, and it is a public ceremony.  The bartender will give you a free shot after you have donated.

I had taken a risk to have lunch in a barbecue pit with brassieres on the ceiling.  No tour people had complained, so I was happy.  I was also happy that I got to explain to someone how to donate at the Devil’s Elbow.

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This man has 98 tattoos of Route 66 icons.  Where is his Devil's Elbow tattoo?  On his elbow, of course.  (Note the Japanese Route 66 tourists taking his photo):

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NOTE: Doug's best stories have been collected into a book: Puppy Out Of Breath.  Price = $11.  Send an email to ParadiseDouglas at gmail.com to find out how to purchase a copy by mail.